Faith, Family, & Focaccia

A faith and culture Mommy blog, because real life gets all mixed together like that.


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Share Day: Day 3 of the April Poetry Challenge

Today’s poetic effort is in the vein of narrative free verse. Hopefully the source of inspiration will be evident.


 

Share Day

 

“It was so exciting! I just can’t sleep!”

My sweet, calm daughter

normally so tranquil, so contained,

now wriggling and bouncing in her bed,

animated by memory.

 

The source of this ebullient agitation:

Her Share Day.

The class calendar marked with her name,

calling on her to rise and carry up the chosen, precious object.

“My Favorite Book”

 

She didn’t tell me her selection,

not until we were rushing out the door,

lunch bags and jackets trailing from lazy child arms,

keys slipping in my fingers as I rush to lock the house, unlock the car,

transport us all to each our destination.

 

 “Do you know what I’m going to share?”

A gleeful grin expands her face,

and, finally, tired eyes glance down to see the book gripped to her chest,

embraced with pride.

My Storybook Bible.

 

Two instant, instinctive, counter-acting thoughts.

 

The happy one beams out,

full of pride and joy

to know this precious book merits for her the singular title:

Favorite.

And even more to see the light

that shines our from her eyes,

so eager to share her love, and God’s, with others.

 

But parallel thought retracts,

trained by fear and pain,

by knowledge of how this book’s singular claims are oft received:

Judgment.

Descriptor both of content and of those

who speak with public voice of finding light,

those eager to share their words, or God’s, with others.

 

What will they think?

The parents of a class whose diverse names and faces I do celebrate,

the chance for her to see and learn from differences.

But will this difference be allowed to teach?

If children bring home tales of Bible stories read aloud

will some complain of violated boundaries, church and state?

Or… will they think that I am a sneaky proselytizer,

indoctrinating six-year olds, my own and through her theirs?

 

My own memory awakes, asleep now twenty years,

presents a shaking scene:

A High School English class; an assignment –

present an object that represents yourself.

I, my worn Bible in my hand, stand to face the stares,

the sneers, the cynical questioning of those who thought me fool.

I held that book because my faith was central to my core, my sense of self,

but also because I felt compelled to stand against the tide,

to prove my faith as genuine to evangelical satisfaction.

“Blessed are you when they revile you…”

 

But this is not her reason,

and I must divorce my own complicated story of love and pain,

both found within the pages of this book,

from how I let her write her own, new story.

Her reason is so much simpler,

just the natural child’s joy of drawing near to God in story form.

And so…

I do not question,

do not try to guide her steps away from pitfalls in the quagmire of pluralistic culture.

This is her share day, and the story must be hers.

 

Now she has shared,

all unaware of culture wars and bigotry,

without cold words of caution to quench the bright light shining from her eyes.

And now, when it is over, hours past,

she is bouncing on her bed, alert with joy.

“It was so exciting! I just can’t sleep”


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Missing To Me: Day 2 of the April Poetry Challenge

This week has been resurrecting some of the initial sting of loss that I felt when we left Italy in December. There are some obvious triggers: Tyler is back in Milan for work, taking photos of the Duomo, and eating gelato from GROM, and having dinner with old friends whom I deeply miss. His absence, and the knowledge of where he is, has also prompted a few sniffles from the kids bemoaning “my real friends” left back in Milano. Then there was the poignant blog post from a good friend who, this week, is following us in her final departure from our former adopted city, recollecting memories and emotions that had been, for a time, swallowed up by the quotidian tasks that have grown to fill my days here in Jersey.

And then there was a snatch of overheard conversation at the grocery store yesterday. It was just an inexpert effort of the checker to reach out to an Italian-speaking customer, but it struck home, making evident with sudden clarity just how much I am missing the loss of daily exposure to my second tongue.

And so, today’s poetry offering reflects upon that loss.


Missing To Me

The grocery line – a checker salutes a man he clearly knows.

“Mille grazie.” A thanks for bagging milk and bread.

The words flare up inside me like a fire with no smoke,

invisible flame that burns inside my head.

 

I miss the language of the land I sojourned for three years.

Though, then, I mangled it in daily tasks.

The lilting roll of opera’s tongue seduced my willing ears.

“Will I now always miss it?” my soul asks.

 

Italians say “mi manca” to express this kind of loss.

The literal translation means “(to) me it’s missing.”

The agency is with the missing object, far across

the sea, while I stand silent,listening, wishing.

 

I try to keep my effort up, insert familiar phrases,

when speaking to the kids throughout the day.

But missing is the boisterous hum pervading public spaces,

the sound that now just memory can replay.

 

My heart now knows, I understand a language is much more

than words and grammar structured to give meaning.

This language lives inside the lives of people, at its core.

The life I left behind is what I’m grieving.

 

I can almost hear the hum of the crowd that waits outside the downtown GROM for spring gelato.

I can almost hear the hum of the crowd that waits outside the downtown GROM for spring gelato.