
Photo by Pille Kirsi on Pexels.com
The Spirit is whispering behind my ear –
Divine respiration-inspiration, Ruach, Pneuma –
calling me to draw her in,
draw close,
draw breath,
to share the air She spills out from her generous soul,
to train my lungs to dance the rhythm of Creation.
Persistent inhale-exhale of all life.
I need to practice, to re-learn, the litany of breathing:
in and out in sacred balance,
call and response,
receive and give,
embrace-release,
let Her inside and speak her name aloud.
The rhythm is so simple,
the common language of all animal and vegetable life.
Whatever else our differences, we all share this:
this in and out;
this every minute interchange of CO2 and Oxygen;
inevitable partnership;
most basic pattern in the dance of life.
But, my step stutters.
I’ve lost the cyclic rhythm,
forgotten that with every hungry gasp
must follow gift;
that each exhale must leave me empty,
needing to refill.
Sometimes my breath gets stuck in inhalation.
My lungs don’t have capacity for infinite expansion.
I cannot hold it all,
and, if I try, I will explode,
betrayed by my blind greed for more.
More knowledge,
or experience,
or lies that whisper my deep worth is measured by inflation,
the ability to hold it all.
And so I keep inhaling ‘til I start to shake
with fear, exhaustion, grief for my own limits.
But, also, I can err in breathing out,
can give until I’m empty and still push for more;
can, somehow, mistake my lungs for a sweet well
replenished from within,
despite my long experience of going dry.
Or else, misdiagnose each need that eyes or heart perceive,
prescribing, as though medicine, whatever I exhale,
forgetting that I have metabolized what I took in,
and my breath carries poison intermixed with life,
which needs to be diluted by a greener source of air.
So, I must learn, again, the rocking, rhythmic step,
the dance that nurtures life in every form:
the in and out in sacred balance,
call and response,
receive and give,
embrace-release,
let Her inside and speak her name aloud.
The partner-dance of Spirit-breathing life.