Faith, Family, & Focaccia

A faith and culture Mommy blog, because real life gets all mixed together like that.


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What I Do Believe: Day 19 of the April Poetry Challenge

I am an advocate. For many years this was my profession (and in a few short weeks it will be again), but regardless of whether or not I have been paid to vehemently defend my opinions to anyone who would listen, fighting for justice has always been my inclination.

That being said, I have made an effort to avoid most political debates on this blog for at least two reasons.

First, there are enough political blogs out there –  at least 417,000 more political blogs than are probably useful or helpful to the debate on any given issue. My opinions, no matter how brilliantly expressed, will be just one more drop in the fetid, polluted bucket of pundit-strewn waste water that is the political blogosphere.

For another reason, I’ve been undergoing a bit of personal growth over the last few years around the whole issue of “being right.” I really like to be right. My sense of self-worth is actually a little bit tied up in my ability to “win the argument.” Being on the right side of a debate is not a bad goal in and of itself, but there are other things that actually matter more in many cases – as I have realized from trying to teach this to my children. Things like kindness, and respectful listening, and openness to the possibility that there is more for me to learn about the topic at hand. Social justice is no less important to me now than it has ever been, but I am a bit suspicious of my ability to enter the debate in a way that will be both helpful and non-corrupting to my own soul.

Today, however, I am breaking my unwritten rule. I am doing so because I feel like I have to. I listened in on a conference call on Thursday that outlined the federal budget bill recently passed my the House of Representatives (ridiculously called the “path to prosperity”), and I can’t stay silent. I just can’t. It would cause me intense physical pain.

So, today’s poem is my effort to process my frustration. I don’t know that it will add anything terribly constructive to a debate in which the opposing sides barely recognize each other as human beings, but here’s hoping…


 

What I Do Believe

(a.k.a. My – admittedly feisty – response to a budget plan that has no chance to actually become law, but which is still both offensive and dangerous in its message and therefore demands a response.)

 

Do you want me to believe

that this “path” leads to my prosperity?

that you have constructed a ladder,

with no lower rungs,

that our economy can climb?

that rhetoric and messaging which make NO SENSE

are not paternalistic,

condescending,

a pat on the head for us silly people who believe in “equal opportunity”?

Do you want me to believe

that just because my family does not use “assistance” programs,

I’ll be better off if they are cut?

that my health will improve with 40 million more uninsured?

that my workplace will be more innovative if fewer students can afford college?

that my children will learn more if fewer classmates attend quality preschool?

that my food will be cheaper, or taste better, if more of my neighbors are hungry?

that my security will be ensured if the safety net is cut enough for “those people” to fall through?

Do you want me to believe

that personal responsibility is the only kind that is important?

that there is no community or societal version?

that demands for individual performance are fair

regardless of a cliff-strewn playing field?

and that you are NOT responsible to own the specifics of this plan

the programs,

and the people,

that would be starved by your unspecified “discretionary cuts.”

Do you really want me to believe

that nothing is more important

than deficit reduction?

not food?

not education?

not new jobs?

not even human life?

Not anything, in fact,

except Defense spending,

and, of course, $200,000 more for every millionaire.

I’m afraid I can’t believe all that. But I’ll tell you what I DO believe.

 

I do believe

that a strong society requires strong commitments,

from individuals and industries, yes,

and also from our government.

that rhetoric is meaningless

and messaging is often pretty lies.

and that you can best judge a path

by the steps it leads you down.

I do believe

that when a program helps my neighbor meet a genuine need,

it helps me!

A neighbor that gets preventative care

makes my health spending more efficient.

A diverse population with Pell Grants for college

gives me co-workers who will know things I do not.

HeadStart preschool for poor children

makes my children’s schools more effective at teaching.

Food stamps that go where there is need,

bring more dollars to my local grocery store.

And a strong safety net offers more security

than the proverbial rising tide,

if I ever find myself drowning.

I do believe

that personal responsibility works best

in a society that understands its own obligations.

that inequality exists

and batters down so many who could give so much

if we could give them a hand up.

that numbers on a page translate to lives,

to faces,

to opportunities

that disappear from view

if sweeping cuts deny society’s role

in individuals’ success.

And I do believe I know the two most important things.

My love of God, that is for me

I will not judge your faith, that’s not my place.

But loving neighbor as yourself, that’s for us all,

a golden rule that stands the test of time,

and culture,

and political persuasion.

And these two most important things convince me

that it DOES NOT MATTER

if any of the programs you would cut

are good for ME.

If they can help

the “least of these”

they are worth paying for.

 


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Broken Body, Resurrection Hope: Day 18 of the April Poetry Challenge

Today is Good Friday – the culmination of the Lenten contemplation of our personal and communal brokenness and our need for the Resurrection that comes on Easter Sunday.

I am feeling, pretty desperately, the need for that resurrection hope after the past few months. Ever since returning to the States in January from our European sojourn I’ve felt compelled to re-engage in a way I had been resisting while I had the excuse of a separating ocean. Specifically, I’ve been re-engaging with the American Church. In a blessed and wonderful that has meant re-engaging with the congregation that sent us out three years ago, and what a homecoming that has been. I have never in my life felt so grateful for a church family.

More broadly, however, this has meant re-engaging with the Christian Culture Wars that are rending the American Church into mutually despising pieces. I have a side in these wars, and I can’t pretend they are over petty things that we should just agree to stop fighting about. Scriptural Authority and the Love of Neighbor are really major issues that go to the core of people’s beliefs – I get that. There is no easy solution.

And yet, my heart has been breaking, each time I read a new Kissing Fish article, or blog post about the World Vision policy switch, or personal story of a former student at my Alma Mater, that all reveal just how broken, and sometimes hateful, my larger church body has become. This Lenten season for me has involved a lot of grieving, and crying out to God for answers – for hope that this supposed “body of Christ “can be saved.

Those are hard prayers to pray, hard questions to ask. But, I’m glad to have gone through this Lenten season, because I have heard an answer. The great thing about Lent is that is ends. And it ends with resurrection. And that is a powerful answer to questions about brokenness and death.


Broken Body, Resurrection Hope
Forty day journey nears its end,

time for reflection and remorse,

a time our hearts are meant to lend

attention to a change of course.

 

And yet… these weeks have witnessed pain

not of repentance, but of pride

that marks white robes, already stained

by ripping wounds caused from inside.

 

This Church, this body, meant to be

united by one Spirit’s breath,

appears, to tear-soaked eyes, to me,

to be a witness more to death.

 

Death of love, and death of grace,

unable to extend a hand

when its own member’s wounded face

asks faithfulness to understand.

 

“I can still love the God you serve

but disagree with you about

five scriptures that expose a nerve,

about the sanctity of doubt.”

 

But wounded hands pull back in fists,

defensive, curled around the pain,

with closed-off ears, both sides insist

“I am the right, you are to blame.”

 

Self-righteousness that tears and rends

a body meant to live as one.

Contracted muscles can’t extend

to open arms as did the Son.

 

For soon we’ll see another form

broken, hanging on a tree

Good Friday calls us near to mourn

the sacrifice on Calvary.

 

Oh, may that memory impart

return to humble brokenness,

give healing balm to bleeding heart,

heal lips that struggle to confess.

 

We all are broken, every one,

and all imperfect in our faith.

By the one Truth we’re all undone.

There is no credit we can take.

 

And brokenness like this is blessed

if it can cause us to return

to love, where arguments aren’t stressed

for we all know grace is unearned.

 

And, despite the bloody trail

the evidence of Church undone,

we can still rise in joy to hail

the Whole and Resurrected One.

 

He is our hope, alive and true

that broken body can still mend.

A dying Church can still renew

leave fear behind and rise again.